Mask Unveiled

single 4 life

im scared... scared of many things. one of which is a relationship. ive never really been in a "relationship" w/ another person besides friendship. im lame like that. guys scare me. i blame my dad. growing up w/o a father figure i think made me the independent person that i am today. im toooo independent for a guy especially one who's needy and wants a relationship. i dont have time for that. i dont really wanna make time for it either. i mean when a guy likes me its totally flattering. i luv it long time. fo sho. but it freaks me out. i dont want them to get to close. not gonna lie, they'd fall in love w/ me faster than i would w/ them. i dont want to hurt anyone's feelings. i dont even see myself as the marrying types (fuck, even my own advisor said that). who does that? wtf, thats sooo not kewl. so what ive im not the marrying type?! is that a bad thing? im gonna be all big and famous someday! im gonna be an even more big deal that what i am today. i at least hope soo. i dont need any guy slowing me down. screw that noise. im gonna be single and mingling forever! i have no problem with that. but then again, that would kinda suck. but then again, im a tuff person to live w/. i have a weird ass schedule so it'd be tuff. o well, its how im doin' it now really in the dorms. i like it. i have friends, i dont need guys. i have thought about jumping ship and switching the batting field to girl on girl action. it seems like it would make much more sense to me b/c most places u couldnt get married anyways, and i have closer connections w/ chicks anyways. but then again, it freaks me out totally. im just in search of solutions b/c deep down inside, i dont wanna be alone for the rest of my life. lesbian? hmmm... i'll think about it i guess.

posted by krAzie onE @ 10:39 PM